Presidential Proclamation - New National Holiday August 29th Let Them Eat Cake Day

August 29th 2005 is the day Hurricane Katrina made it’s landfall with the gulf coast / Louisiana. We all know about the debacle, loss of life and decades leading up to it of the government ignoring the levee issues. What I didn’t know until recently was that in addition to appointing an incompetent buddy to be in charge of FEMA, America’s great and brilliant leader George W. Bush also tried (for two days) to make the case that the disaster was not the federal government’s responsibility / jurisdiction including spreading mis-information that Louisiana had not properly requested assistance.

What the *uck is the damned government for and why do we pay so much in taxes then? Duh…, that’s right we pay taxes for people to have cushy / secure bureaucratic jobs, finance wars, finance laws / agencies to protect us from ourselves and so guys like Bush and Cheney can further enrich themselves and their friends.

Even Nero did a better job than Bush after Rome burned, therefore, I proclaim August 29th shall be a national holiday where we can remember all those who perished as well as not forget the brilliance of the Bush administration.

A few quotes on Katrina of note...

(before it happened)

“It appears that the money has been moved in the president's budget to handle homeland security and the war in Iraq.” Walter Maestri, emergency management chief for Jefferson Parish, speaking to New Orleans Times-Picayune, June 8, 2004

“If terrorists had achieved this result, it would rank as the greatest terrorist success in history.”

Somthing to think about and apologies I don't have the 2010 numbers but I highly doubt it has decreased...

• U.S. military spending for FY 2008 is larger than military spending by all of the other nations in the world combined.
• At $141.7 billion, this year's proposed spending on the Iraq war is larger than the military budgets of China and Russia combined.
• Total U.S. military spending for FY2008 is roughly ten times the military budget of the second largest military spending country in the world, China.

Imagine what could be done for the unemployed, schools, homeless, and hungry in this country with some of that...Oh yeah, but according to us we are the greatest and most civilized country in the world...

And finally, some top Bush Katrina Quotes:

• "I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees." –President Bush, on "Good Morning America," Sept. 1, 2005, six days after repeated warnings from experts about the scope of damage expected from Hurricane Katrina
• "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job." –President Bush, to FEMA director Michael Brown, while touring hurricane-ravaged Mississippi, Sept. 2, 2005
• "Now tell me the truth boys, is this kind of fun?" –House Majority Leader Tom Delay (R-TX), to three young hurricane evacuees from New Orleans at the Astrodome in Houston, Sept. 9, 2005
• "We've got a lot of rebuilding to do ... The good news is — and it's hard for some to see it now — that out of this chaos is going to come a fantastic Gulf Coast, like it was before. Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house — he's lost his entire house — there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch." (Laughter) —President Bush, touring hurricane damage, Mobile, Ala., Sept. 2, 2005
• "We finally cleaned up public housing in New Orleans. We couldn't do it, but God did." –Rep. Richard Baker (R-LA) to lobbyists, as quoted in the Wall Street Journal

Sarah Palin 2012 (My Competition's) Campaign Logo

Pervert Popes and Priests Castration & Confiscation Act - Marcus for President 2012

People in the USA yell and scream about gay marriage, infidelity and health care but when it comes to male priests in large numbers sticking their dicks in little boys everyone is quiet. I can’t be the only one who thinks this stuff is completely disgusting and *ucked up? What we know about is probably only the tip of the iceberg as with most scandals and rape.

If you haven’t received the 411 on the latest scandal, the current pope (who looks like the Emperor from Star Wars) covered up and protected another pervert priest who took out his sexual frustrations on OVER 200 young DEAF BOYS. They’ll probably start going after paraplegics next.


I therefore propose there be no statute of limitations for these bastards anymore, these fuckers be castrated and churches founds covering up this crap will have all their assets confiscated and sold with the proceeds going to the victims.

Marcus for President 2012 - Scab and Booger Consumption Reduction Act

I recently met someone who I think may be a real life scab eater…have you ever just looked at someone and felt like you could see through them and into their dark secrets? Well, I have and on this occasion I can tell a scab picker-eater when I see one.  Funny thing is, I don't think most people who suspect this woman as a scab eater as she is very attractive, but I know one when I see one...

I had a girlfriend back in my NYC days who when I probed why she left her last boyfriend who was one of the highest profile investment bankers in Europe…truth be told she caught him eating a large booger he had picked from his nose when he thought she was sleeping. Bankers don’t just steal all your money, they eat boogers too!


I’ve been contemplating what to do about these unhygienic and heinous acts and have concluded it we must register scab and booger eaters as you could be on the wrong side of kissing one of these people without being warned of the remnants that may be in their mouth! I don’t think we should totally ostracize these people so I will endorse 12 step programs for scab and booger eaters to get help.

Vote for me in 2012 and I promise to defend you against such perpetrators of ill hygiene and in the meantime keep your scabs to yourself.

If you're interested in learning more about scab eaters, the Urban Dictionary definition is: Somewhat self-explanatory; a scab eater is someone who regularly consumes dried blood that has collected in a recent wound on their person.
Confessions of a Neurotic Mind
http://www.skinpick.com/node/239

Marcus for President 2012 - Canada & Mexico Act

I can't begin to weigh in on the loads of bullshit and pork being thrown around on this health care fuck fest. Politicians could really mess up a two car parade...they complicate everything as it makes their existences seem justified and their fluoride soaked brains somehow smarter.

Let’s move on to more pressing subjects…Canada and Mexico. I like Canadians a lot, I really haven’t met any a-hole Canadians although I’m sure some exist. I like Mexicans too, hard working peeps with spicy food. So, if elected your President in 2012 I promise to work hard to incorporate them into America or I might just give the keys to the US over to Canada and then we’ll take in Mexico for a nice spicy taco celebration.

Marcus for President 2012 – Freedom of Soda Act – Putting Cocaine Back in Cola

I think I’ve made it clear to this point within the first 90 days of office I will have ended the drug war and by imperial decree either given you your money back wasted on all that and/or put it into education. With drugs being legal, the Bull Moose Party hereby declares the Freedom of Soda Act whereby Coca Cola and the other bottlers can go back to the good old days and give us cocaine in Coca Cola versus all the sugar, chemicals and crap.



What a way for all you fatties to lose weight as well with the wonderful side effects from cocaine suppressing your appetite and very few calories!


For you Coke and Pepsi lovers, here’s the Anatomy of Modern Day Coke….

Have you ever wondered why Coke comes with a smile? It’s because it gets you high. They took the cocaine out almost a hundred years ago. You know why? It was redundant.


In the first 10 minutes: 10 teaspoons of sugar hit your system. (100% of your recommended daily intake.) You don’t immediately vomit from the overwhelming sweetness because phosphoric acid cuts the flavor allowing you to keep it down.


20 minutes: Your blood sugar spikes, causing an insulin burst. Your liver responds to this by turning any sugar it can get its hands on into fat. (There’s plenty of that at this particular moment)


40 minutes: Caffeine absorption is complete. Your pupils dilate, your blood pressure rises, as a response your livers dumps more sugar into your bloodstream. The adenosine receptors in your brain are now blocked preventing drowsiness.


45 minutes: Your body ups your dopamine production stimulating the pleasure centers of your brain. This is physically the same way heroin works, by the way.


60 minutes: The phosphoric acid binds calcium, magnesium and zinc in your lower intestine, providing a further boost in metabolism. This is compounded by high doses of sugar and artificial sweeteners also increasing the urinary excretion of calcium.

60 Minutes: The caffeine’s diuretic properties come into play. (It makes you have to pee.) It is now assured that you’ll evacuate the bonded calcium, magnesium and zinc that was headed to your bones as well as sodium, electrolyte and water.


60 minutes: As the rave inside of you dies down you’ll start to have a sugar crash. You may become irritable and/or sluggish. You’ve also now, literally, pissed away all the water that was in the Coke. But not before infusing it with valuable nutrients your body could have used for things like even having the ability to hydrate your system or build strong bones and teeth.


This will all be followed by a caffeine crash in the next few hours. (As little as two if you’re a smoker.) But, hey, have another Coke, it’ll make you feel better.

Marcus for President 2012 - Truth in Hair & Stimulus Act

When I first started campaigning in the Fall of 2009, I was throwing around a figure of around $18k per every person alive in the US had been spent on stimulus of one form or another…to which my question was, don’t you think a better system of stimulus would be to cut you and your family a check directly? People told me I had the number too high…turns out I was too low and that doesn’t even count all the money spent on bullshit wars to fund the military industrial complex we call a democracy…

So I propose the ‘Truth in Stimulus & Hair Act’…demanding a full accounting of all stimulus funds and to know what politicians use toupees and hair implants. All toupees shall be sacrificed symbolically during gladiatorial games in our new coliseum formerly known as congress.

Back to the stimulus bullshit…Oh, that’s right…you’re not educated enough to understand it because of the system of education they provide you (and can no longer afford) to know how to spend money, plus if we allow “the system” and our friend’s interests to collapse “utter chaos” will reign, the world will end and ‘the insurgents’ will take over…sadly most people still buy that line of bullshit…recently the numbers have been leaking out and would you believe $28,333.33 for every man, woman and child TO PAY FOR $8.56 TRILLION BAILOUT THUSFAR?

That means a family of 4 would have gotten about $112,000.00 to pay off all of your debts! If you don’t owe anything, there would be nothing for you to pay back so you could pay cash for cars, homes, furniture, appliances, electronics or anything you wanted… or you could even invest it in real estate, gold, platinum, silver, diamonds, etc! Now that would stimulate the economy like nothing ever in all of recorded history…but again you need a legion of leeches to tell you how to spend and administer the money…

I like this excerpt from http://www.blackspotnews.com/?p=706 :

But, what about AIG, Bear Stearns and all those other investment banking corporations? Excuse my French… but fuck ‘em! When you fail miserably, embezzle shamelessly and steal ruthlessly, you should reap shame, insolvency and punishment…not receive billions of dollars as a reward. We do not need these failed enterprises and the corporate thugs who ran them and us in to the ground. When they die, other honest and more capable companies will take their places. That’s the way it should be, shouldn’t it?