Marcus for President - Ides of March Proclamation without Representation

For the likely large percentage of Americans who don’t know what the Ides of March signify in modern times, it is the day Julius Caesar was assassinated in 44 B.C. The 15th of certain months had other historical significance, with the 15th of March being a festive day dedicated to the god Mars (believe it or not the world existed before Jesus).

Anyway, in remembrance of Julius Caesar the Ideas of March shall be a national holiday where citizens wearing togas will be entitled to free wine, cheese and olive oil parties across the country. The parties shall be sponsored by your new administration who shall acquire these funds by confiscating Halliburton and ExxonMobil’s assets as I have decided as long as we still have oil around the profits should benefit the people of America.


Don’t worry, we won’t squander it all on fun, when you’re not off illegitimately starting wars, creating more terrorism and spending half the treasury on the military, spying etc. it leaves you with a lot to spend on your people.