Showing posts with label obama 2012. Show all posts
Showing posts with label obama 2012. Show all posts

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Marcus for President 2012 - Monuments and Roads Act

The first component of this act is you are not allowed to have a road, monument, airport etc. etc. named after you if you are still alive. Having lived in the south, I was always amazed how they would name roads after preachers and corrupt politicians still alive…enough of that narcissistic craziness, in the Northeast and most of Europe you have to be dead first as it should be.


Existing roads named after people alive will be changed to names from Star Wars, Sponge Bob and Tin Tin comic books. The Stone Mountain Georgia confederate memorial is going to get a face lift with Sponge Bob being added to the charging horse memorial. Mount Rushmore will be getting Bob Marley smoking a joint and my favourite US General old Blood and guts Patton.


I’m thinking about adding an imperial walker to the front lawn of the white house, but I’m open to other suggestions…just remember…Marcus for President 2012, because “everything’s more fun with Marcus”


Thursday, March 4, 2010

Marcus for President - New Rules for Lobbyists - Campaign Promise # 5

I did some research on lobbyists and found the numbers interesting as well some Washington Post reporter trying to defend in essence most lobbyists by selectively deconstructing what he called 'myths'. First some of the varying numbers...



there are now 12,553 federal lobbyists registered in Washington, down from 14,800 at the end of 2008, and well below a record 15,137 in 2007, according to the Center for Responsive Politics, a nonprofit group that tracks such activities. In the wake of tighter ethics rules imposed by the Obama administration for people who are official lobbyists...


Industry executives, congressional aides and lobbyists say companies and special interest groups have terminated the lobbyist status of people on their staffs and are calling them by new names...


The 'real' number of lobbyists in Washington is over 90,000 -- not including their support staff....

The Post reporter attempts to make the point that lobbyists perform an important service writing papers and viewpoints on complex legislation etc. etc.etc. My questions to him and you are:

1. Why does it have to be so complex and hard for people to understand? Truth be told it doesn't...


2. Don't people elect their representatives based on their viewpoints and what they are told during the election process?


I could go on a while about that one, however, I'll just get to the campaign promise...if elected your president, all official and unofficial lobbyists in Washington DC will be required to wear black leather fetish gear and clothing...no suits or skirts


Lastly, the punishment for any law developed, influenced or linked to lobbyists and congressmen that results in children being unjustly or inconsequently (a) hurt (b) killed (c) malnourished (d) homeless (e) sick shall be shirtless public spanking in black leather pants for 12 hours on the national mall after ingesting a complete exlax chocolate bar...

Gladiators & Congress - Marcus for President 2012 Campaign Promise # 24

As I discussed in Campaign Promise # 3, I think states and local communities should have MUCH greater say in how they run their communities, spend money and far less federal taxes, bureaucracy and BS. To start with, I think those bums in congress should spend 80% of their time in their home states and districts versus getting their knees dirty with corporate lobbyists.


To address this problem I plan on dispensing with many of congress' powers and give states their authority and much of their money back currently being sucked away by congress. I shall turn congress into a Gladiator Coliseum for entertaining the masses. We can have matches between corrupt politicians and bankers to start and then expand to child molesters, rapists etc.

Of course as your Emperor, oops I mean President I will need to retain the television rights for these excellent games.

I approve of this message…Marcus for President 2012





Friday, February 26, 2010

Campaign Promise # 21 - National Adultery & Marijuana Act

Since being back in ye' old America I am really sick and tired of hearing all the media coverage and crap about affairs, adultery, horny Tiger etc. etc.  It's time America leave the puritan religious middle ages and join the rest of the free world where having flings is a private matter.

If elected your President in 2012, I will fine any media outlet wasting air or print or whatever time $10M an offense and give $9M to a variety of children's causes, building shelters for the homeless, school programs, education, shelters for abused women, etc. etc.  The remaining million will go to the person they reported on.

Next...

This act shall also entitle all US citizens to a free splif (joint) of Marijuana on labour day and all federal holidays.  Enjoy, you've earned it!  And while you're at it, if your beau, galo, hubby, wife isn't treatin' you right...go feel alive and have an affair for me and Tiger.


Marcus for President - Bull Moose Party Official Feed

February 26 Events, Quotes, Poem o' the Day and Podcast

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Campaign Promise # 20 - Hospitals & Jails Reform Act

I thankfully to date haven't been to too many jails or hospitals. I've been in small county / town jails three times that I can remember...once in high-school for throwing a huge party where the cops rounded people up in school buses. The next time, I was in Athens Georgia going to court to protest a speeding ticket. When I stood up to make my case they took my away claiming I had another ticket I hadn't paid. Turns out I had paid the ticket and had a cleared check to prove it.


Lastly, I got nailed for BUI....Boating Under the Influence on Lake Lanier in Georgia. That's a whole other and very funny story for another time, but I did learn to not make jokes anymore as they have a funny way of being twisted and showing up in the police report later...It's also not advisable when your stoned and buzzed to wave high to the police as you drive by their cop-boat when you have a nicer one with lots of girls on it...they then like to do "random safety checks".

Net-net is I think the prison system needs to be turned on it's head. The current approach to incarceration and reform only makes people worse, treats them inhumanely and gives them no options when they get out but to go back into crime. Additionally, we never attack the roots of the problem which are lack of education, lack of options (aka jobs which have all been shipped elsewhere) and poverty. My other campaign promises address the roots of the issue.

In terms of the existing system, it should not be privatized and people should not be in jail for doing drugs. Legalize it, focus on education, prevention and make money off it so taxes can be lowered! Violent people, child abusers and molesters should be in jail but they should be taught how not to be violent and exposed to elements of love and support. I could say a lot more here, but I’m going to switch to hospitals for now.

I worked in high school for over two years at a good small town hospital as a janitor...you want to talk about dirty jobs, I still remember cleaning the autopsy rooms...Anyway, I think too many hospitals are not places I would want to be whether sick or on my death bed.

Hospitals for adults should be like good children's hospitals...bright colours, activities, healthy non-chemical local food, comedy, alternative medicine options, animals to play with, plants, more social interaction and please a new smell other than sickness and death! People get healthier when they have something to live for, are happy and in a warm-loving environment.

Am I the only one who has observed most hospitals and inner city public schools look like jails without the towers?

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

US Presidential Campaign Promise # 19 - Playoff System for College Football

I think like most college football fans out there, I am sick of this BCS Bullshit and the NCAA's pussy footing around every year about bringing in a better system.

If elected your President, by executive order I will force a playoff system to start the first year i'm in office.  I do apologize in advance to the other conferences that the SEC will likely win the Championship every year, but doesn't the best conference and best team deserve to win?

Finally, I know many conservative flouride-drinking Georgia boys won't like this, but I also promise to pressure UGA to bring in a football coach with something other than superior bible study skills and mediocre play calling skills...how long can a program hang it's hat on a 1982 Championship?